Do I really believe you Lord?

If this is really what I say it is, this thing called amazing grace, then why am I scared at the thought of standing up in a store and proclaiming Christ to on lookers? If I believe Jesus when he says that his blood cleanses every sin and for every person, why do I still love my sin and hate giving it up deep inside? I'm frustrated with my own lack of faith. The more I press into Christ the more I realize I have nothing to offer back to him. Even when I try to pursue righteousness, I become self-righteous so many times. I feel like a fake and a phony. I want faith to match the level of grace I've received. Lord, grant me a willing and steadfast spirit of faith that tells of your greatness amongst all people. Every time I begin to look at my own lack of faith, you remind me of where my hope comes from. My hope is the Sovereign Lord: Jesus Christ. Psalm 39:7 says, "But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you. " When I look around at my own abilities I have to say, "what do I look for? I don't have anything to give you! All I have is you. You are my only hope for becoming like you. I need you to love you!" I am grateful and still frustrated. I want faith Father! Give me faith!