Halleljuah! We Are On Our Way to God

I know the Lord is near to me. As I sat there, there He was like a rushing wind and powerful voice, with strong hands lifting my face, stating so firmly and fiercely yet with such care and tenderness, "Look at me. Look at me, Amanda... Look into my face; right now, turn.. towards...me. Keep your eyes on me. Look at me. " I knew I would loose the battle if I didn't look at him. I knew if I took my eyes off Him and put them on me, I was going to get hurt. So I looked. And He was peaceful, yet fearful to look at and I knew my heart was held in His hands. My insides were screaming, "Help me Lord! Help me!" I know I will make this about me. Yet He is the strongest, even more than my will and flesh. Powerfully He helped me today. Powerfully He is my refuge, a hiding place for my soul. I ran to Him, begging Him to help me. He spoke, "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me. For I am gentle and humble in heart." Then my mind raced to the conversation Courtney and I had last night: The tabernacle was made with giant white linen sheets and the tops of the posts were silver and the bottoms were bronze; the bronze represented the refinement coupled with the silver symbolizing redemption which provided the the right mix in order to enter the holy of holies. Therefore, he reminded me, I must go through refinement to enter. The spiritual act of worship for me is to offer my body as a living sacrifice to him. It is not my fleshly desire to deny myself tangible pleasure, nor is it fun to have to think cautiously through interactions, but I need to offer my self up as worship to him. This is refinement for me.

I was and am quieted by the impacts of our sin. Though we are forgiven and given grace by our Lord, scares and consequences are not deleted. It is in view of God's mercy that I must offer my body as a living sacrifice. Because he rescued me from horrible things of my past, shameful things, sinful acts, I must be disciplined now, shielded now, sprint to Him now, and sacrifice now. He saved me and now He will be my counselor. He will train and teach. He will ask me to learn from Him in the areas which were disasterous for my soul, which will require sacrifice. In view of His mercy, it will be pleasurable. In view of His love, it will be glorious.

Surrounded by hope and peace. He's near me. He loves us. I am sure of those things. My heart is in the hands of the King. And there is peace when starring into His face. Honestly, I just wanted to go to Heaven. I saw as I looked into His eyes that he was going to be refining me today, but I so desperately wanted to be with Him right then and there. I knew it would be safe with Him. My heart knows I will be secure in Him, when my eyes are seeking Him first. O Lord, let me trust you to be my portion forever. His peace is intoxicating and like a drug, addicting. I want this my whole life. Never leave me Lord I pray. Uphold me by your right hand. It is strong. Halleljuah!! We are on our way to God. Praise His holy hand. Praise His blessed face. All who gather at His feet bow low before Him for He alone is worthy.